Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
