i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
