TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
