Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize