fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
