Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That reminds me...we need to get swords
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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