I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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