just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
