She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize