There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
