If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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