look no pants
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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