Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
