He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
