I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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