ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
