only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize