I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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