Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
