just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
