I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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