So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
