my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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