i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize