there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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