so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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