Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
