I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
