you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
