Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
