I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
