He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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