Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
