btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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