I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
