Nicole vs. Life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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