oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.