Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.