This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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