i don't like sucking hair
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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