Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
