Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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