things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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