i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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