you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
