last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
