I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
