am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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