Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I fill condoms, not promises.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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