So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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