State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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