dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
