We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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