Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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