He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
