so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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