I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
