So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
