is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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